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F1’s Precious Flavio

January 7, 2010

I’ve always wondered what Flavio Briatore’s 26 year old wife must be thinking when she kisses the human equivalent of Gollum. I mean, come now – look at him. Not exactly the Brad Pitt of the F1 world is he? So putting his very questionable pot bellied looks aside what else do we have there? Hmm… a duplicitous, conniving, heavy handed, arrogant cheat. Can’t be his personality then either, can it? Guess that leaves only his money.

And who would be surprised by THAT little piece of truth?

I mean, LOOK at this woman. It makes me physically ill to think that Gollum slithers all over her when the lights go out.

Speaking of Gollum, do you also see the resemblance?

Gollum; star of the LOTR movie trilogy:


Flavio Briatore; convicted race fixer and all round scum bag:

Convicted of conspiring to cause the most outrageously heinous race fixing scandal in the history of F1 , Briatore was sent slithering into the F1 wilderness banned for life, never to return. Or so we had hoped.

Consider the weasel. Weasels are amazing creatures.  They manage to get themselves into situations and then out of situations quickly and slyly, using cunning to avoid capture. Foxes and snakes are the same. All three are good examples of what Flavio Briatore is.

The rotten part to the story revolves around Briatore getting his lifetime ban from the sport overturned, freeing him to return to F1 as a manager or even worse: as a team boss.

Consider this post from Planet F1

While there is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Max Mosley was fueled by personal vendettas to play judge, jury and executioner in the handing down of the penalties to Briatore over “Crashgate”, the fact of the matter is that Briatore was busted cold blooded with his hand in the cookie jar – hence his ignominious “slinking away with tail between legs” departure from Renault. He fell on his own sword and the world said good riddance.

Doctor Mike Lawrence from Pitpass.com, whose features I really enjoy reading, wrote a particularly damning piece all about the turmoil surrounding the “sweater salesman“. An enjoyable read if you haven’t seen it yet. All Mike Lawrence’s pieces are actually.

Getting back to the issue at hand though, it now appears obvious that the Tribunal de Grande Instance ( TGI ) of France correctly saw through the duplicitous intentions of Mosley and set an historic precedent when they declared the life time ban placed on Briatore was not within the power of the FIA to enforce. So they overturned it.

Crucially though, 2 other pieces of information can be taken from the transcripts passed on to the public.

The first being the fact that the TGI overturning the ban came about primarily because of a stupid clause – in the FIA regulations no less – that states only “license holders”, that is, drivers and the teams themselves, can be issued life bans for their involvement in such situations.

I’m literally dumbstuck as to how team principles and chief Engineers don’t fall under the same category.

So the FIA has also quite literally fallen on its own sword by breaking statutes that is had no authority to apply in banning Briatore for life in the first place! How on earth could they not have known this? I’m not sure who is dumber – Mosley or Briatore.

The second piece of information is that while the TGI “overturned” the life ban, they DID NOT overturn the charges nor disagree with them – meaning quite literally that they agree that Briatore was guilty as charged of race fixing but have sought to do nothing further.

Truly appalling.

This is what they said: “The decision of the World Council was presided over by the FIA president, who was well known to be in conflict with Briatore, with Mr Mosley having played a leading role in launching the inquiry and its investigation in violation of the principle of separation of the power of the bodies. The decision (of the World Motor Sport Council) is not annulled ( in dispute ) but declared irregular (outside the jurisdiction of the FIA to enforce), and rendered without effect in its provisions against Mr Briatore and Mr Symonds.”

Gollum liked to harp on about being the victim, whilst hiding murderous intent – he could neither be trusted nor respected. Flavio Briatore, in much the same way, is a wretched little creature who shares all the same qualities.

F1 is better off without him and I for one hope he does not come back to make the sport even more insufferable than it is now.

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