Kubica in F Major

October 7, 2009

F for Fail.


R//O loves Robert Kubica – not for his, umm… questionable looks but for his car control and sheer speed. Robert has shown all of us uglier types that it is okay to look this way and still drive a fast car and for that, we roundly applaud him.

But, putting looks aside ( Not that there is a lot there to put away ), Robert Kubica has decided to do something totally daft.

Instead of taking the logical, career minded approach in leading a team funded by the biggest motoring manufacturer in the world, a manufacturer with billions of dollars in backing, Robert Kubica has made the major mistake of joining…them.

No, not Toyota…

You know that really hated band? “The New Cheats on the Block”? I think Piquet was singing like a canary, Alonso blowing ( sucking? ) on the flute, Briatore banging away on his own thinly stretched drum skins, and Symonds snorting, sorry, playing the heavy bass?

Yeah, I also heard their first single crashed horribly.

I knew Kubica was going to do this but am totally against it. Most of my reasoning stems from the fact that Renault are a mob of duplicitous cheating mongrels and got caught red handed. Sure they argue team personnel can’t be implicated in the mess because the “…sins of a few don’t cost the many”, but that’s like me saying, “Hey, if you don’t find my whole body, my penis cant be implicated in the penetration of that totally hot prostitute!”

It’s absurdity at its most baffling.

Robert may very well rue passing up the chance to go to Toyota simply for the fact that he could have been well away from the inner turmoil engulfing the Renault team.

As it is, he is now embracing it.

And did I tell you, had he made the right choice, he could be eating uber expensive sushi off very naked, very voluptuous and very expensive women in a very secret location – all on the bosses platinum card?

Obviously these guys are only paid to drive and not to think…

Kubica to Renault in 2010?




  1. Best hope he doesn’t win the championship 2010!

  2. I don’t think Robert has any chance – he was put in the shade by the grossly under rated Heidfeld this year and will at best, be midfield with the occasional points score next year as well. I just can’t see him doing any better. That would be like saying he will do as good a job as Alonso and that would mean some truly heroic stuff. Frankly, I don’t think he is anywhere near as good as Alonso so I’m not expecting much.

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