R//O loves Robert Kubica – not for his, umm… questionable looks but for his car control and sheer speed. Robert has shown all of us uglier types that it is okay to look this way and still drive a fast car and for that, we roundly applaud him.
But, putting looks aside ( Not that there is a lot there to put away ), Robert Kubica has decided to do something totally daft.
Instead of taking the logical, career minded approach in leading a team funded by the biggest motoring manufacturer in the world, a manufacturer with billions of dollars in backing, Robert Kubica has made the major mistake of joining…them.
No, not Toyota…
You know that really hated band? “The New Cheats on the Block”? I think Piquet was singing like a canary, Alonso blowing ( sucking? ) on the flute, Briatore banging away on his own thinly stretched drum skins, and Symonds snorting, sorry, playing the heavy bass?
Yeah, I also heard their first single crashed horribly.
I knew Kubica was going to do this but am totally against it. Most of my reasoning stems from the fact that Renault are a mob of duplicitous cheating mongrels and got caught red handed. Sure they argue team personnel can’t be implicated in the mess because the “…sins of a few don’t cost the many”, but that’s like me saying, “Hey, if you don’t find my whole body, my penis cant be implicated in the penetration of that totally hot prostitute!”
It’s absurdity at its most baffling.
Robert may very well rue passing up the chance to go to Toyota simply for the fact that he could have been well away from the inner turmoil engulfing the Renault team.
As it is, he is now embracing it.
And did I tell you, had he made the right choice, he could be eating uber expensive sushi off very naked, very voluptuous and very expensive women in a very secret location – all on the bosses platinum card?
Obviously these guys are only paid to drive and not to think…
Vettel may have had the easiest day out there with a convincing pole to win today in Suzuka but spare a thought for those behind him, especially the man who finished 2 laps down.
Although nothing can be taken away from the German who displayed composure and raw speed throughout the weekend, Webber must be feeling like God himself is well and truly against him, for despite having a car that was a gigantic half a second faster than everybody else over any single lap, Webber was struck with problem after problem after problem.
It wasn’t enough that a harmless nudge against the wall resulting in a hairline crack in the monocoque of the RBR on Saturday morning free practice completely sidelined him for the entire official qualifying, he also then had to endure the sight of Alguesuari spinning backwards over the kitty litter and into the barriers before the bridge carrying considerably more speed and then incredulously, getting out of the trap with no more than a broken rear wing. To make matters even worse, Alguesuari qualified P4 in Q3 despite all of this, eventually going on to make it into Q2.
You would think that was torture enough, but before Webber could even think that Sunday would be a better day, Vettel then went on to take a commanding P1 in Q3 first time out at the track.
Webber must surely be an expert masochist to end all masochists. He, “Loves to receive ze punishment!”
I suppose at least he didn’t get food poisoning this Saturday, like he did in Fuji a couple of years ago. Remember this?
People berate Webber for all sorts of pathetic reasons, conveniently failing to acknowledge the fact that he is a tougher than titanium racer, a man who will keep going despite being in excruciating pain or suffering from a lingering illness, right to the flag. Timo Glock would do well to take a teaspoon or two of good old Choppers, “Harden The Fuck Up” from Webber and get back in the car with his pussy scratch that he received after his visit to the wall. Timo was hobbling around getting pity from everyone, brandishing a bandaged leg that looked like he had suffered shrapnel wounds from a landmine. I thought he had a 40 degree fever never mind the bandage that should have been PINK, not blue.
Piss Weak Pussy Sauce.
Does anyone truly believe Webber would have given up on Sunday with this injury? Not on your life. It is more feasible that he would have told the medical team to “Fuck Off” and leave him with the injury because all Aussies know that a band-aid or two will fix anything. Even death.
Lets have a look back shall we?
He’s dealt with sickness, puking through his balaklava in his helmet during a race, been given 2nd degree burns in his ass due to a faulty wire in the car that super heated the seat. I was reminded by a friend of mine, Russ, that Jaguar, upon Webber coming in for a pitstop, threw a bucket of water over him and the seat to “…cool the temperatures.” Webber went right out again.
There is no one in F1 with bigger balls than Mark Webber. Fact.
He’s pulled multiple backflips at 330kph in a Mercedes CLR-GT1 LeMans car that would make Chinese Olympic diving athletes green with envy – not once but twice.
He’s also been hit head on by a car and had a metal pin installed to hold his leg together and how could anyone forget the butt-secks the “Fucking Kid” tried to have with him in Fuji in 2007, immortalized by Mark’s words, “Well, it’s just kids, isn’t it? Doing a good job and then they fuck it all up…”
I’m not done. Mark is so tough, he drove the start of the 2005 season with broken ribs. Walk in the park, is it?
Yes, it’s just as conceivable as Hussein Bolt running the 100m sprint with a busted leg. And get a new WR in the process.
Who’s tougher than Mark? The only guy I can think of is Christ Jesus Himself and Mark is going to have to come back from the dead if he wants to take that trophy.
Too right, Mark. You’ve been robbed so many times and we are all filthy for you.
Interestingly, Japan has never been kind to Mark Webber. It was probably a black Japanese cat he killed.
Was there a race today? Oh yes, there was wasn’t there? Silly of me to forget. So Sunday comes around and little Vettel has his day in the sun. Good for him and good for Red Bull, no doubt. Good for the championship even but with only one single engine left and 2 races to go, all it would take is for one little valve to say, “G’day Cobber” to Mr. Piston and it is Alfeiderzein for the German hot shoe and his, “Youngest WDC ever” title aspirations.
In the race, everyone gets away cleanly with Webber getting a decent start but disappointingly, is in the pits within 3 laps. Blown gearbox or engine?! Mangled suspension?! A date with a Romanian supermodel?!
No…with a busted safety cowling. Of course…there is no way it would have been serious.
Change of tires and out again, only to return into the pits a lap later with the same problem. Of all the things that could go wrong, a busted drivers cowling. Band-aids deployed, Webber sets off after the field, 3 laps down. The band-aids are holding obviously.
Predictably, he’s back in again soon enough for his third stop of the afternoon. This time it is a puncture. Nobody else the entire race suffers a puncture.
Punctured wheel changed and re-fuelled for a long 4th stint, it’s off again. Webber makes two more stops bringing the total to 5 for the day in what must surely be the most frustrating race I have ever had the displeasure of watching him compete in. In a race where nothing went wrong for anybody else besides Algesuari who managed to lose the Torro Rosso at 315kph into 130R ( that corner should be renamed “130 – Directly to E – R” ) Webber unchallengingly personifies, “Bad Luck”.
Somewhere, he must have smashed a mirror while running over a black cat without realizing he was going under a ladder on his bike right before being cleaned up by a car which leaves his leg mangled and broken. Seriously, it’s beyond a joke now.
Martin Brundle hilariously quipped today that, “..if Mark Webber wasn’t having any bad luck, he wouldn’t be having any luck at all!”
I had the pleasure of meeting Mark at Suzuka in 2006 on both the Friday and Saturday. These were happier, burn and chunder free days for the Aussie and he was refreshingly open for a chat. Knowing I didn’t have the proper “credentials” to be in the paddock, he asked me, “… so how’d you get in here Adam, anyways?”
He then gives me a nudge and then says , “..dodgy deeds?!”
I had always thought the guy was awesome ( I had first met him in 1995 when he was driving a Formula Ford ) but this discussion we had in Suzuka took my respect for him to a completely different level. He wasn’t just approachable. He was normal and supremely friendly and everything I had hoped things would be like within the paddock.
He was exactly like me.
I should say most of the drivers were like this but Webber is a successful Aussie so that makes it personally special.
The fact that he smashed all of the other drivers lap times in the 2009 Japanese GP by taking the Fastest Lap classification was a big “Middle Fingered Salute” to all who speak ill of him. Very much like the massively underrated and overlooked, Nick Heidfeld, Mark Webber is and has always been one of the very best in the sport and credit should be given where it is deserved.
Living in Japan is usually really good for automotive things and this weekend is no exception. You see, the F1 circus is in town and everyone is watching in this racing mad country. Japan is so crazy about its motorsport that even major Japanese corporations pull incredible stunts to ensure they gain maximum exposure.
Toyota have done exactly that.
Not content with the driver pairing today, Toyota have told the world that Timo Glock has a heavy cold and a high fever and will “sit out” today’s Friday practice in order to help him recuperate before the qualifying session tomorrow. In Japanese medical circles, colds and “high” fevers only last 24 hours.
Speaking of getting high, what are the people at Toyota actually smoking these days anyway?
The thing is, they have appointed another driver to stand in for Timo.
And that driver is 23 year old Kamui Kobayashi. Who is Japanese… and 3rd driver for Toyota… racing at the Japanese GP…in front of Japans biggest corporate names…on Honda’s race track.
How convenient!
The least they could have done was make the Trulli sick. That way the better driver could actually get seat time instead of sitting out a vital session.
Not surprising really – wouldn’t be the first time Toyota has lied about something in order to obtain a result.
No sooner had I written the previous piece on Nelsongate that news of the verdict over the Renault race fixing hearing taking place came through.
Renault have been handed a 2 year suspended disqualification.
In their release the World Motorsport Council and the FIA said:
“The World Motor Sport Council finds that Renault F1 team members Flavio Briatore, Pat Symonds and Nelson Piquet Jr. conspired to cause a deliberate crash at the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix. The World Motor Sport Council considers Renault F1’s breaches relating to the 2008 Singapore Grand Prix to be of unparalleled severity. Renault F1’s breaches not only compromised the integrity of the sport but also endangered the lives of spectators, officials, other competitors and Nelson Piquet Jr. himself.
“The World Motor Sport Council considers that offences of this severity merit permanent disqualification from the FIA Formula One World Championship.”
“However,having regard to the points in mitigation mentioned above and in particular the steps taken by Renault F1 to identify and address the failings within its team and condemn the actions of the individuals involved, the WMSC has decided to suspend Renault F1’s disqualification until the end of the 2011 season. The World Motor Sport Council will only activate this disqualification if Renault F1 is found guilty of a comparable breach during that time.”
“In addition the World Motor Sport Council notes Renault F1’s apology and agrees that the team should pay the costs of the investigation. It also accepts the offer of a significant contribution to the FIA’s safety work.”
Thankfully, Briatore didn’t get away as easily. He has seemingly been banned for life, with the WMC and the FIA declaring that Flavio Briatore is to have no further dealings with anyone in the sport – including the management of any drivers. The decision was reached in light of the fact that Briatore continued to prfess his innocence despite the fact that evidence contradicted him at every turn.
In their damning assessment, the WMC and the FIA remarked that, “For an unlimited period, the FIA does not intend to sanction any International Event, Championship, Cup, Trophy, Challenge or Series involving Mr. Briatore in any capacity whatsoever, or grant any license to any Team or other entity engaging Mr. Briatore in any capacity whatsoever. It also hereby instructs all officials present at FIA-sanctioned events not to permit Mr. Briatore access to any areas under the FIA’s jurisdiction.”
“Furthermore, it does not intend to renew any Superlicence granted to any driver who is associated (through a management contract or otherwise) with Mr. Briatore, or any entity or individual associated with Mr. Briatore. In determining that such instructions should be applicable for an unlimited period, the World Motor Sport Council has had regard not only to the severity of the breach in which Mr. Briatore was complicit but also to his actions in continuing to deny his participation in the breach despite all the evidence.”
Thankfully, this is the end of Flavio Briatore and I for one am relieved. The sport is better off without people like this in it.
Perhaps in the days where people had no need to cheat. Cheating and sport go hand in hand, never more so than in the modern world where greed takes precedence and millions upon millions of dollars change hands in lucrative deals that can either make or break a team.
Cheating wasn’t nearly as common in the earlier days of F1 simply because people didn’t need to cheat. There wasn’t nearly as much money being thrown around and people were in it to win it; except, not at all costs. These were the days where people in the sport had integrity and dignity.
The saddest part of the sport today is exactly the same thing that drives it forward.
Money.
Not content with being the root of all evil, money is even attacking the very reason for a sports existence. It is not enough these days to just be involved: you have to be involved to make the piles of money and that was never a part of the way things were done when F1 wasn’t a multi-national global colossus money making enterprise. Bernie Ecclestone is the sports worst nightmare, taking his self proclaimed “circus”, selling out to the highest bidder and happy to let the sport turn on itself – a person who appears to enjoy the fact that people within the sport are ripping each other apart.
The only thing he is sad about over the whole Nelsongate situation is the fact that it might effect him personally and more importantly; financially.
He doesn’t appear to care about the well being of the sport any more and is more interested in protecting his own interests.
Bernie Ecclestone is a perfect example of why the sport is dying. A self absorbed, disingenuous, impassionate, double dealing, facade for the trauma underneath. As a man who helped the sport to get where it is, it is reprehensible that he is allowing it to tear itself to pieces in this way.
It’s not a matter of engine freezes and budget cuts any more – something is critically wrong with the sport on a moral level. More and more teams and individuals within those teams are brazenly willing to cheat and steal and put at risk the lives of others to get whatever it is they want and that always invariably comes down to money.
It truly is the root of all evil for mankind. Make no mistake.
Whatever the outcome of today’s events, I am certain the sport and those that are supposed to be looking after it will try and sweep the whole mess under the rug and attempt to continue on doing what they do best; making their piles of money.
F1 was never a sport based on piles of money. It was an honourable sport – one with integrity and dignity. A sport where risk and bravery were rewarded – not with millions and billions but with adoration, wreaths, recognition, revere and champagne…
People keep banging on about how the sport is losing credibility and that is utter bullshit – the sport lost all credibility years ago.
What keeps me tuning in is not what happens off the track but what happens on it so you can imagine my disgust as a true F1 fan, the news that Renault forged a plan to get the win in Singapore last year by putting another driver and countless other people at risk.
I do not doubt that Alonso knew about this plan despite him lying through his teeth about having no idea. How could he not know the reason why the team put him on a ludicrous 2 stop with fumes to get him to the first stop – all the way from the back in 14th? Did he forget to ask?
Alonso…playing by the rules? That’s a good one!
We also know that Flavio Briatore, the man who personifies arrogance and pig headed-ness, is also gone and very well masterminded the whole affair – not to mention the disgraced engineer Symonds who “engineered” the disgraceful events.
I feel less animosity toward Piquet Jr. purely because he was nothing more than a pawn being sacrificed on the chessboard to facilitate a mating move.
If anything, he is least to blame – despite the fact that he was driving the car. You may not agree with me but if you were faced with death by firing squad ( believe me, losing a job has felt sickening enough to be likened to death many times. Why do people still kill themselves when they lose their jobs? ), then one cannot really blame Junior for going along with the demands of his employers. Not only was Briatore his boss but he was also his “manager” although I am stunned to think about what it is he actually manages besides his own interests.
Yes, Nelsongate will all be over soon – we await the news as I write this but the stains left over from this debacle will not come out in the wash.
F1 has been going down the toilet not because of viewer numbers or sponsorship deals but because the people who are holding power are irresponsible, corrupt, self serving and manipulative.
People watch F1 for all the reasons F1 is not these days.
No doubt I am not the only one that is very disappointed by the 7 times champ’s decision to pull the pin on his F1 return as a stand-in for the injured Felipe Massa.
It would have been an amazing thing to watch but sadly, Michael Schumacher is not going to be on the grid in Valencia, citing neck pain from a previous motorbike accident.
M.S went on to say that, “Yesterday evening, I had to inform Ferrari President Luca di Montezemolo and team principal Stefano Domenicali that unfortunately I’m not able to step in for Felipe.”
“I really tried everything to make that temporary comeback possible, however, much to my regret it didn’t work out. Unfortunately we did not manage to get a grip on the pain in the neck which occurred after the private F1-day in Mugello, even if medically or therapeutically we tried everything possible. The consequences of the injuries caused by the bike-accident in February, fractures in the area of head and neck, unfortunately have turned out to be still too severe. That is why my neck cannot stand the extreme stresses caused by Formula One yet.”
“This are the clear results of the examinations we did on the course of the past two weeks and the final examination yesterday afternoon. As there were no improvements after the day in Mugello, I decided at short notice on Sunday to do that thorough examination already yesterday. I am disappointed to the core. I am awfully sorry for the guys of Ferrari and for all the fans which crossed fingers for me. I can only repeat that I tried everything that was within my power. All I can do now is to keep my fingers crossed for the whole team for the coming races.”
Disappointing news but what is done is done.
Ferrari will be in chaos right now trying to decide on who will stand in for Massa but they are spoiled for choice – they have Mark Gene and the incumbent Luca Badoer.
Both of them will do a fine job and are definitely more race ready but wouldnt it be great to see Kubica in the seat, now that he is on the market. for a one race special deal?
That would be a sure fire way to kick Raikonnen in the ass and get him moving again, wouldn’t it!¿
*EDIT*
It has just been announced that Luca Badoer will stand in for Massa in Valencia
The German manufacturer will see out the 2009 season but will not be present on the grid for the start of the 2010 season. This is sure to raise questions regarding the sale of the teams infrastructure and movement of its staff but just as importantly, the locations of its current drivers.
I believe this decision may have just signaled the end to Nick “The Pikey” Heidfeld’s F1 career. There is no word of him replacing Massa at Ferrari and it is highly unlikely he will get the seat at Renault when they sack Nelson Piquet Jr. So where does it leave the quiet achiever? With limited options; that is where.
According to the hairy chested German, this came as a total back door raid to his F1 party; “BMW’s decision no longer to compete in Formula One was totally unexpected. I feel very sorry for the members of the team with whom it has been my privilege to work over the years. I would like to thank all of them for their tremendous support and for everything we have achieved together.”
Robert Kubica has a much better position as he is currently still in the embrace of Formula 1 as one of its darling speed stars. Offers are sure to come in thick and fast for the under-performing Pole.
Personally, I am very disappointed BMW has yet again pulled the pin on its F1 program. It is not the first time BMW has done this and you have to wonder when they will be back. History tells me it is only a matter of time before they return again.Historically, BMW has always shown a great aptitude and ability for getting in to the sport when it is at a peak and leaving it when it is in the dumps. Quite the opposite of Ferrari who is there regardless of the outcome. It shows BMW lacks the spine and wherewithall to weather the current climate. It also shows BMW’s motives. True racers like Sir Frank Williams and the Williams team do not quit when the going gets tough. BMW were always a financial operation – in it for the money and the glory but mostly from a corporate perspective; nothing more.
That is deplorable to anyone who truly calls themselves a racer.
No one can call in a plumber because their sink is broken and then as it’s getting fixed, tell the plumber how to do his job.
With BMW now on their way out the door, questions must be asked as to who will replace them. The FIA drew fierce criticism over its selection process regarding the grid for 2010 but with the exit of BMW, the door may have just been kicked open for the operations from Prodrive and Lola to recommence.
The FIA has also released a press statement saying that they saw this coming a mile off and even saw fit to have a stab at the FOTA alliance:
It seems that Flavio Briatore, a man who led Fernando Alonso; one of the greatest drivers in the modern era, and Renault to championship success in 2005 and 2006 doesn’t know **** about F1.
Well, according to a talentless whining son of a gun, that is. Nelson Piquet Sr. is probably having kittens – right at this moment.
Sadly, it appears that things have gone from bad to worse in a major way for Felipe.
While we all breathed a heavy sigh of relief after hearing the news that he was alive and able to pull through the horrifying accident that hospitalized him in the intensive care ward of Hungary’s top brain hospital, complications and conflicting reports have surfaced regarding his true condition.
Ferrari started with a blanketing press release, basically saying that there was no serious damage and that everything was fine; Massa only suffered concussion. This was an utterly senseless press release from Ferrari to be honest – we could all see that this was no simple shunt with minor repercussions.
And so it transpired that Massa had indeed been hospitalized with a fractured skull – quite the more significant injury compared to concussion – and an injury that carried with it far reaching and potentially fatal consequences if not treated correctly.
To bring things back to the point, Felipe Massa is now currently around 24 hours into a 48 hour induced coma.
Such was the desperation of the situation and the extent of Massas injuries that the cranial team at the AEK Military hospital in Budapest had to induce a coma; a very extreme measure, make no mistake. The positive upshot amongst all this is that the procedure is necessary and highly beneficial allowing the doctors to monitor him in a state where the body has effectively shut down or gone to sleep; putting Massa in a deep sleep is helping to ease and aid the body in dealing with the blunt trauma that is causing his brain to swell. Inducing a coma, in this instance, actually has the effect of acting like a pressure release valve for the brain.
The news though, does get rough again.
According to Professor Robert Veres of AEK hospital Budapest, Massa, ” …has suffered some damage to the eye. We don’t know if he’ll be able to race again. I don’t know if he can return. It’s too early to say about his future. We don’t know the extent of the damage. Without an operation it’s very hard to evaluate its function.”
So, it appears certain that Massa has suffered a serious left eye injury and although reports at this time are scant and cagey to say the least there is speculation that the Brazilians career may be over due to this injury.
I for one certainly hope this is not the case and that Felipe makes a strong return to the cockpit but the stark reality is that without proper vision Massa cannot race and this will indeed mean that his career in F1 will be over.
Let us all hope he pulls through for a full recovery.
He should be dead, Felipe, you know? The reaper has nothing on the Ferrari driver. God waved his hand and Massa lived. That he lived is a divine miracle and one I am obviously grateful for. The mere centimeters between Felipe Massa and death today were frighteningly, excruciatingly close – that much is true for all to see.
Observe this photo if you will.
Them observe this screen shot from the video below…
Massa’s face was almost smashed in from the impact – now suffering a cut, blackened, swollen and bleeding left eye, not to mention a fractured skull - you can see the massive chunk of carbon kevlar that has been gouged out of the helmet when the debris hit him at more than 200kph.
A single solitary centimeter in virtually any direction and we would all have to be burying and mourning for another beloved Brazilian.
That is a terrifying photo and Felipe Massa is one of the luckiest individuals currently living. Make no mistake about it.
The video is just as sobering.
At 23 seconds the cylindrical object has struck Massa in the head, knocking him out cold. This was vision slowed down as well. Think about that. In all honesty, when people tell me to buy helmets based on appearance over safety I have to question whether or not these people have anything up there to protect.
I can inform you all now that the object was a 5 INCH LONG METAL SPRING from the rear suspension of the Brawn F1 cars.
According to James Allen, he reported; ‘I’ve spoken to someone who has held the spring in question and it is around five inches long, coiled metal and quite heavy. Massa is incredibly lucky to have survived an impact like that with only light injuries.
In a world where danger for racing drivers is always as close as the next bend, the whole world got another frightening reminder this afternoon as to why motor sport can potentially prove fatal for every one that is involved.
In Q3 for the Hungary F1 GP, Felipe Massa was on his first hot lap just after the session had started when he mysteriously and inexplicably left the road at full speed, hitting the barriers head on at over 230kph.
At first, it looked like a totally bizarre and confusing accident. Watching it happen live, I wondered what would cause Massa to miss the sequence of corners and make a dead straight line for the barriers at that speed. The front tyres were on full lock and yet he was hard on the gas. On-screen graphs proved as much.
Massa slammed into the tires and chaos ensued. Rescue teams took a long while to stabilize Massa and extricate him from the wreck.
The mangled bent Ferrari was eventually removed allowing the marshals to rebuild the damaged tyre wall.
Boards and forums around the world lit up with messages of idiocy and truth, mixed with speculation and ignorance. No one knew what had happened.
Then, finally, after 10 minutes, the replay was shown. And it all became horrifyingly clear that this was no ordinary accident.
This was the same type of freak occurrence that had tragically and cruelly cut short the life of 18 year old Henry Surtees. The type of accident that no one can do anything about. The type of accident that reminds us all that the sport we all love can be fatal for your health.
Like I said – Felipe Massa is extraordinarily lucky to be alive.
Ferrari released this statement moments ago…
“After the accident during the qualifying session of the Grand Prix of Hungary, Felipe Massa was airlifted to the AEK hospital in Budapest. Felipe was conscious at the arrival at the hospital and his general conditions remain stable. Following a complete medical examination it emerged that he had suffered a cut on his forehead, a bone damage of his skull and a brain concussion. These conditions need to be operated on after which he will remain under observation in intensive care.”
I wish Felipe the speediest of recoveries and want to see him back in the saddle as soon as possible. I also wish to extend my condolences to the Massa family for this shocking accident.
He’s still with us and that is the main thing.
When we will see Massa behind the wheel again is a mystery but we all hope it is sooner rather than later. Let us all just hope this freak accident doesn’t ruin his racing career for good.
